I just picked this illustration because the dude with the fro looks like Malcolm Gladwell. And I felt like name-dropping Malcolm Gladwell. Listen to his podcast. It's so grown-up.
Anyway, over Christmas break, while most people either 1) happily swing into or 2) force themselves or 3) are physically coerced into socialization situations with A) family and/or B) friends and/or C) co-workers, I noticed the word "introverted" bandied about everywhere like a magic shield to use as an excuse/reason for not participating in every holiday-related event in life. Granted, I've used this term myself, because, 1) I am an introvert and B) I read the dictionary definition of it. As an introvert, I am besties with other introverts and we often introvert together in the best ways.
Lately, however, even in non-holiday contexts, this word "introvert" keeps popping up. Suddenly, it's very trendy to be introverted. Like, wait, wha?
First off, please understand that you cannot make yourself introverted. It is not something you can adopt to be cool (and since when is introversion cool?) It is inborn, like gayness or fabulousness. You either are or you aren't. Second, it is NOT an excuse to avoid socialization. If anything, it's a reason to take a break from too much socialization, i.e. "OMG I just spent all day at Disney with my family, whom I love, but I really need a day to myself before I can spend an evening watching a bootleg of Hamilton with my close friends." If you "hate people right now" you're probably a burnt out introvert. But if you just "hate people" you are literally a misanthrope.
A misanthrope is actively anti-social and cannot stand people in general and just avoids social situations altogether and judges everyone. They can be kind of an asshole, to be honest. I'm mostly envisioning one of these unkempt hipster types who actually live in a basement and are no fun to be around whatsoever. An extreme misanthrope--one who distrusts everyone, has an overbearing sense of his own grandiosity, has no warm and fuzzy feelings and acts glib and fake--is a sociopath. We're all envisioning Sherlock right now, but seriously, he's not even a true sociopath, because he actually cares about his friends and loves them... in his own way. There are vast tracts of fanfiction to be consumed that act as graduate theses on this very subject, but I digress.
Now, introverts may vacillate between being plain burnt out and openly misanthropic depending on the day/horrible situation/traffic/politics/shit that just went down on their favorite TV show, but overall, we enjoy (certain, specific) people and do not actually avoid being social as long as we have some energy left in the day. Even after my worst day of work, during which my social energy is completely depleted, I still have the wherewithal to enjoy gals' night with my best pal. Granted, that's some low-key socialization, but I still crave that mineral.
I'm not even a SHY introvert. I am pretty damn skilled at mingling at parties and whatnot, which not EVERY introvert is capable of, but being social is certainly not antithetical to being an introvert. Of course, I wasn't always comfortable at parties or speaking in front of crowds of people. I hated it plenty. But as I grew up, I learned how to do these things through sheer willpower and practice. I hate it when I'm tired, but I can do it without an anxiety attack. And afterward, I am totally done for the day, so leave me alone after I give a talk or a training.
In the end, everyone needs to ask themselves "Am I an enervated introvert, or am I an asshole?"
Odds are, you're neither, and you're just a weird extrovert who's down on humanity for some reason. Probably the election. AMIRIGHT?
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