We all grew up spending some part of our sick days home from school watching mid-day PBS programming. When we were young, we watched with a condescending crinkle of our runny noses as Bob Ross cranked out the umpteenth variant on an Alaskan mountainside in less than 30 minutes. But with age comes a Buddha-sitting-under-the-bodhi-tree level of realization of the man's unyielding genius at conjuring non-existant landscapes from a stroke of liquid white with a 2-inch brush.
The stoners appreciate Bob Ross, of course. His soporific vocals calm the paranoid nerves while also delivering a view of some serene rivers and evergreen forests with the occasional abandoned cabin. The elderly love him, yes, in a very un-ironic manner, because he shows them the live magic that Thomas Kinkade never did. Fucking Kinkade.
But I, as the aging millennial who sometimes can't help but admit the hipsters are right about some things, absolutely adore this little painter man from my favorite state of Florida.
Now, I admit that I marvel at the near effortlessness of his skills--so many warm alizarin crimson skies and titanium white snow fields--but recently, I have adopted him as my go-to sleeping pill of choice. I've cued up a Bob Ross video on my bedside iPad so many times to help me nod off that I've developed a Pavlovian response to watching him. Five minutes of happy little clouds is as effective as Valium for me at this point. It's the best way to end my day, and I love old Bob for it.
I get a little kick out of seeing his critter friends make an appearance on the show. The most relaxing imagery I can imagine is Bob kissing a deer or petting a baby bird before picking up his palette and getting to work on his next nap-inducing masterpiece. He's a modern-day St. Francis.
And who doesn't love his darling catch phrases at 10:30 pm? Happy mistakes and beating the devil out of things. Every tree needs a friend. Time for your bravery test. Shwoo. Just like 'at. You have to make the sound effects when you use the fan brush.
Thank you, Bob. For everything. God Bless.
