My friend Annie called me last night and triumphantly informed me that "OMG the power and internet is back... we're watching Animaniacs... I am SUCH a millennial." I promptly admitted that (since my house actually never lost power during even the worst Irma had to dish out) I had been re-watching episodes of Big Love just because I could. It was a comfort after the long anxious weekend sheltering with my parents. This exchange, I feel, says a lot about how we elder millennial homeowners deal with emergencies. Yes, you heard me. We are homeowners. We actually gave up daily avocado toast and bought actual homes. *rolls eyes*
Honestly, the way most journalists refer to millennial homeownership you'd think we've never had anything more permanent than a starter home in The Sims.
Holy shitballs I just had some serious flashbacks just staring at this screenshot. I am a long-time Sims addict, and I've been sober since my last year in high school. I gave up cold turkey, mostly because my college laptop wasn't fast enough to handle all the photorealistic rendering. LOL. DAMNIT I am SOOO tempted to download this again... no NO Caitlin hold it together. You have a REAL house with a REAL mortgage and it almost blew away the other night when Irma officially became Florida's worst tourist.
Both Annie and I were SUPER FORTUNATE that both of our homes survived intact. Irma ended up shooting straight up the spine of the state instead of either coast, which saved us from the worst of her wrath. All that land caused too much friction and she lost her mojo just fast enough not to absolutely ruin northern Florida like she did the Caribbean.
After spending the entirety of Sunday night waking up every ten minutes from hearing the nightmarish 90-mph gusts snapping trees and worrying if a tornado was nearby, coming home to nothing more than a piece of loose vinyl siding seemed an absolute miracle. My neighbor said we never lost power in my neighborhood, and I could tell because my microwave wasn't blinking some random time at me. I schlepped my birds and my overnight stuff back to the house and while I wasn't really expecting it, I wanted to see if Spectrum was still failing us all. I plugged in Alexa and asked "How are you doing?' and she said "To be honest, it's been a rough night. No seriously, How can I help?" Eyes widening, I asked her to play the Broad City radio on Pandora and she immediately obliged. INTERNET!!!!!
So here I am, feeling a massive wave of comfort from the simple knowledge that the precious WIFI signals were permeating my walls and my brain. Exhausted, I chatted on Skype with Jay to give him the full rundown of my across-the-pond weather skirmish, then fell down in bed with an episode of Bob Ross to try and take a nap. When I woke, I put on How to Marry A Millionaire on TCM and made dinner for my parents. I caught up on Joliver, and nodded off to Bill Paxton's bare ass. I forgot just how much sex was in Big Love. Such a great show.
Anyways, the next morning saw us both moving on to the next stage of post-disaster existence. The first two are, of course, RELIEF DRINKING and NETFLIX WALLOWING. The third, as it turns out, is NESTING. I was super psyched to find that Publix was open, so I went out and got some milk and butter and AA batteries because my automatic dish soap dispenser died and it felt like the friggen stone age for 12 hours. I meant to get a Buccaneers sandwich but the deli was mobbed at 10:00 so maybe later I'll head back. Or I'll just get to work on the mountain of tinned beans and Spag-Os I bought before the storm.
But there's something about eating a premium Pub sub right after a statewide emergency that declares "I AM FLORIDIAN AND I WILL SURVIVE!"
Then I had lunch and felt an inexplicable urge to go to Marshalls and buy towels and placemats. Annie confirmed this feeling by saying she was currently at Target, lovingly staring at housegoods. OMG why is Target so comforting? Somehow, I feel like EVERY purchase made there is completely justified. There's something in the Up & Up brand paper products... every time I wipe my face with a napkin I unknowingly snort Target dope.
So umm, what's the next stage? Not sure yet. I already told myself that if I do some budgeting and pay off a little more on my credit card today then I'm allowed to go to Marshalls. Is that better or worse than rotting away in front of a computer screen buying furniture for your Sims?
Of course, I do have a beautiful pool. I could just float around in that while listening to Empire of the Sun on Pandora.
Perhaps the final stage is BEING GRATEFUL. Being profoundly grateful and taking advantage of the blessings of home ownership. Because at the end of the day, when all the bills are paid and by some stroke of incredible luck you live in a house that is built to withstand hurricane winds and isn't under six feet of storm surge, you've got it made. Like a queen. A grateful queen.
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