Over the latest long winter's break, I embarked upon a lost weekend of sudden onset boyfriend indulgence the likes of which I have not experienced in... a very long while. T'was the week before Christmas, and all through my manse, I was watching the newest season of The Last Kingdom, and my heart did a dance. Well, first, it was CRUSHED because *HISTORICAL SPOILER ALERT* King Alfred died. But that televisual event ripped the duct tape off of my eyes to reveal the pure talented beauty of *sigh* DAVID DAWSON.
Now David is what you would call Supreme Cait-Bait due to the very obvious: he's British, he's skinny, he's dark, and recites Shakespeare on occasion. Just like Sir Jay, my love. And also like Sir Jay, David also has the very fine distinction of emanating a tantalizing level alternative sexuality, which, in this case, is almost certainly full-blown gayness if not at least uber bisexuality, which, as we all know by now, kids, Miss Caity cannot resist. And as the D Ream song goes: things can only get better! Because David Dawson has some fine fashion sense. Tell you what.
Look at those shoes. Just... I want those shoes. And the man wearing them. More than I can properly express on this existential dimension. (I'm almost certain I saw him wearing some burgundy Doctor Martens in one of the lovely Eliza Butterworth's Insta posts and it DEFINITELY inspired me to impulse-purchase some shiny new oxblood vinyl Docs when I was in Brooklyn for my birthday weekend.)
So OK, here is David Dawson, the mysterious and talented Alfred the Great of my heart, finally landing in my heart. Of course, when I first started watching The Last Kingdom (total obsession, obliterates Game of Thrones in my mind because UGH historical fiction involving St. Cuthbert and weird old Anglo-Saxon town names YASSS GIVE IT TO ME), I knew his face. He was none other than Poins, Prince Hal's pub mate and general flunky in the BBC's 2012 production of The Hollow Crown series. I remembered him most deliciously from this very not-gay sauna scene with then-boytoy Tom Hiddleston.
*Insert Homer Simpson-style drooling*
DAYUM. That is some skinny chesticle, boy. Don't stop.
Back to my lost weekend, though.
I was just SO devastated by Alfred's departure and I was in desperate need for more of David's face. Of course, I promptly dove into my patented internet stalking mode and scratched out some gems from the raw ore of the intertubes. First up: a terribly inexplicable eye-roll-inducing series known as The Secret Diary of a Callgirl starring my second-to-least favorite Doctor Who companion, Billie Piper. I never understood her sex appeal AT ALL. I just don't. But anyway, so David appeared in just one measly series of the show and I did not hesitate to deftly scan through eight ridiculous episodes on Vimeo for the few precious scenes with his adorably punk-metrosexual character named BYRON. And hoo-boy was he CUTE. Just. HNG.
That boyish floppy hair and guyliner and big soulful eyes... sweetheart. You're glorious.
Next up: Some period drama series I found on Amazon Prime called Banished, in which David plays an English officer assigned to an Australian penal farm way back when Australia was just England's faraway perp-heap. Though David was well-dressed and sported a suitably stiff upper lip, he was in pitifully few scenes but it didn't stop me from scanning through another whole season just to see his smile every so often. Also, I spotted so many familiar faces from other BBC productions and movies that I was having flashbacks to the early 2000s.
Finally, I scoured the fanfiction enclaves to be disappointed by the severe dearth of my favorite OTP: Uhtred of Bebbanburgh and Alfred the Great. I mean, watch the show and tell me there isn't sexual tension there and I will DISOWN YOU. But there was just enough to give me hope and some welcome delight. (I will neither confirm nor deny that I have contributed to The Last Kingdom fandom category on Archive Of Our Own.)
My point being, David Dawson is a pure treasure who inspired me to get more boots and devour a book about the real King Alfred and he should play David Bowie in something or at least do some more Shakespeare(!) or show up in almost anything on the BBC now that he has been released from Netflix. Any role where a more dour version of Alan Cumming will do. Oh yes. Dreamtastic!
