Going into As You Like It, I hadn't recalled much: a lady in drag, a bunch of rich people cavorting through a forest, "All the world's a stage." Boy, am I glad I got to revisit this one. Rosalind is by far the cleverest (non-serpent-like) woman in all of Shakespeare, and would have made Hamlet a much better wife than the poor repressed Ophelia (apologies to Ophelia). Not only is the play PERFECT food for Pride Month, but it's adjacency to Hamlet has one jonesing to write crossover fanfic with Rosalind and the melancholy Dane as the ultimate OTP. By the end of the week, I was shipping them HARD.
It's a sign of the times that in order to be "liberated" Rosalind has to masquerade as a male nearly the whole time (named "Ganymed(e)" no less, Jupiter's own pretty young boy toy, which adds an even sweeter layer to this homosexual cake). Unhindered by yards of petticoats, she is confident in her guise, although she openly admits to being "falser than vows made in wine." Ultimately, she gets to be more herself as a man--fulfilling the wish of many Shakespearean ladies, most notably Beatrice and Lady Macbeth.
Shakespeare's audiences wouldn't have been strangers to genderbending--boys played women all the time. Because acting was widely considered a base and even demoralizing occupation for men, much less delicate ladies, playhouses had no choice but to have boys play all the girl parts. In a coup of gay inception, a boy playing Rosalind acted as a female who is acting as a male who then acts as a female for Orlando's love lessons. While there was no shortage of drag opportunities in Williams' plays up until 1599, the year presented him with greater financial security and creative freedom, so the natural assumption is that As You Like It is meant to be As Shakespeare Likes It. Namely, queer AF.
The question of where Shakespeare landed on the sexuality spectrum inevitably arises, but so does his wish/obligation to play to the audience's preferences for maximum entertainment value. Apparently, women in acting troupes was not taboo everywhere (the French didn't give a shit), so what was behind England's proto-drag queens policy?
While it is all too obvious (and fun!) that As You Like It is DRIPPING with queerness, I'm happy settling for the heartfelt girlfriends forever vibe that is unquestionably presented throughout. The fact that all the men in this play have no problem gravitating toward a "pretty youth" in the sexual department is HUGE and AWESOME. It's fertile ground for questioning everyone's paradigm for attraction, and yet, I am more intrigued and heartened by how perfectly Celia and Rosalind resolutely support each other like the true gal pals they are. Old Billy really paid attention to how women bond.
The other badass thing about this play is how Rosalind falls into a "bottomless" pit of love, but she doesn't lose her mind. And she doesn't abandon her cousin for marriage like ladies did before her. You know they are going to be best buds forever, even after Rosalind gets bored of Orlando and visits Denmark and has a wild romance with Hamlet in my dreams.
In an unspecified French-like country, we meet Oliver, the oldest of the three sons on Sir Rowland de Boys. He has this orchard, and his youngest bro Orlando is strolling around in it, kvetching to old Adam (Oliver's servant) about how shitty his lot in life is. Orlando is jealous of the middle brother Jaques, who is allowed to go to school while he, Orlando, languishes in an orchard like a peasant. Oliver shows up and Orlando delivers a piece of his mind, manhandling him a bit until Oliver agrees to give him some cash at some point maybe. Orlando stalks off.
Oliver calls in Charles, Duke Frederick's beefy wrestler, and asks WASSUP. Charles says nothing much except what everybody already knows: Duke Frederick usurped his older bro Duke Senior, who is now rambling around in the woods with some merry men while his daughter, Rosalind, is allowed to remain in court with Celia, her cousin (Duke Frederick's daughter). Charles tries to get Oliver to agree to convince Orlando away from wrestling because he will certainly beat his ass into the ground and he doesn't want to dishonor the family but Oliver says "No go ahead, be my guest!" and Charles shrugs and agrees not to throw the match.
At Duke Frederick's palace, Rosalind and Celia chat about the state of everything. Rosalind is obviously upset about her father being banished, but Celia tells her to cheer up, as whenever her father kicks the bucket, she will inherit all that he stole from Duke Senior, and Celia will return it to her. Just then, Touchstone the clown walks over and the ladies jest with him, soundly besting his wit. Monsieur Le Beau tells the ladies about the wrestling match about to take place, so they head on over.
LeBeau provides some commentary on the previous bouts--Charles totally whooped Oliver, breaking three of his ribs. The ladies go over and try to convince the next participant--Orlando--from basically throwing himself into a lion's den. Orlando does not back down and asks that the ladies send him good wishes as he goes to fight. They watch the match and Orlando miraculously throws Charles, winning the day. Duke Frederick is impressed until he realizes he doesn't like Orlando's father, and walks off grumbling about it. Rosalind and Celia congratulate Orlando, and Rosalind even gives him a chain from her neck. Orlando is taken by her instantly and as they leave, he asks LeBeau who she is. LeBeau informs him that she is the banished Duke Senior's daughter. Orlando signs heavily with adoration.
Celia pokes fun at Rosalind for obviously falling for Orlando and they giggle about it together until Duke Frederick tells Rosalind that she is no longer welcome in his court. Celia balks, saying that Rosalind is innocent of whatever wrong Duke Frederick saw in Duke Senior and that she loves her as a sister and will not stand for it. Duke Frederick says "Tough noogies; she's out." Celia huffs and tells Rosalind that she will not leave Rosalind's side and that they shall disguise themselves and run away to the forest Arden and find Duke Senior. Rosalind says she'll dress as a man because she's so tall. Celia agrees, saying they'll drag Touchstone along with them, and they go to gather up some jewels and cash for their road trip.
We are swept to Arden, where Duke Senior, Amiens, and some lordly hangers-on are strolling through the woods, enjoying the lovely countryside. Duke Senior extolls the beauty of it compared to the "envious" court:
Now, my co-mates and brothers in exile,
Hath not old custom made this life more sweet
Than that of painted pomp? Are not these woods
More free from peril than the envious court?
Here feel we but the penalty of Adam,
The seasons' difference, as the icy fang
And churlish chiding of the winter's wind,
Which, when it bites and blows upon my body,
Even till I shrink with cold, I smile and say
'This is no flattery: these are counsellors
That feelingly persuade me what I am.'
Sweet are the uses of adversity,
Which, like the toad, ugly and venomous,
Wears yet a precious jewel in his head;
And this our life exempt from public haunt
Finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks,
Sermons in stones and good in every thing.
I would not change it.
One Lord tells him about how he saw Jaques (a different Jaques, NOT the middle son of Rowland de Boys, HOW ANNOYING) get weepy over a dying deer that was pierced with a hunter's arrow. He poetically describes the scene by the river and Jaques' commentary on the cruelty of life, including enough detail to make anyone go vegan (for a while at least). Duke Senior says they should go find Jaques because he's full of wisdom when he's in one of these moods.
Back at the palace, Duke Frederick is surprised(!) to find that both of the girls have gone, and Touchstone as well. A Lord reports that rumor has it they went looking for Orlando, so Frederick sends for Oliver to seek his damned brother.
Orlando meets Adam at Oliver's house, and Adam is just bursting with love for Orlando and his recent feat at the wrestling match. Orlando asks WASSUP and Adam says that Oliver is on the warpath with jealousy and that Orlando should leave. Orlando is like WTF and Adam says "Don't worry, I've got 500 crowns saved up for my retirement and we can use it to get us both the hell out of Dodge and live a little." Orlando is deeply touched, and they scamper off.
Rosalind, Celia and Touchstone, masquerading as Ganymed, Aliena, and Himself, respectively, are dead tired on their feet as they reach Arden. They overhear two shepherds, Silvius and Corin, converse about how Silvius is in love with Phebe. Touchstone comments to the ladies that he was in love once:
We that are
true lovers run into strange capers; but as all is
mortal in nature, so is all nature in love mortal in folly.
Rosalind empathizes with Silvius and they decide to ask them if they know where they can rest and get some nosh. They say they have nothing but if they want to buy their stupid master's cottage for sale, they can. The trio go for it.
Jaques listens to Amiens' romantic songs and being so worldly, Jaques loves to dispute the romanticism of them. Amiens clearly doesn't enjoy this treatment, but Jaques insists he keep singing. Jaques tries to impress him with his "Greek" knowledge but Amiens leaves to sup with the Duke Senior.
Adam is exhausted and feels he shall die on the spot. Orlando is unfailingly optimistic, and says he will go off to find food for them.
Duke Senior gathers his crew and they feast on whatever they've dug up or killed in the forest. He asks for Jaques and he finally joins them, iterating a story about a "motley fool" (Touchstone) he just met, who contemplates how time works:
'Tis but an hour ago since it was nine,
And after one hour more 'twill be eleven;
And so, from hour to hour, we ripe and ripe,
And then, from hour to hour, we rot and rot;
And thereby hangs a tale.' When I did hear
The motley fool thus moral on the time,
My lungs began to crow like chanticleer,
That fools should be so deep-contemplative,
And I did laugh sans intermission
An hour by his dial. O noble fool!
A worthy fool! Motley's the only wear.
The Duke says Jaques should be the one wearing the motley coat, since he has foolishly spent his life as a libertine and has no ground to stand on when he moralizes about sin. Jaques blathers on about any snowflake who is offended by what he says is sinning himself or else they wouldn't be offended.
Orlando bursts in (thank God), sword drawn, apologizing for his rude interruption but that he is starving and will not let them eat if he can't. The Duke says dig in, my friend. Orlando is bemused that the Duke is so kind, as he thought the woods to be rough and savage. The Duke says he is more than welcome, and Orlando goes to find Adam. Jaques randomly fills the time with his famous speech:
All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
Orlando returns and he and Adam feed as Amiens sings. The Duke realizes who Orlando's father is and says he is most welcome in their company.
Back at court, Duke Frederick yells at Oliver to go find his brother. Oliver insists he never loved his dumb ass. Frederick ironically insults him by calling him a bigger villain than the brother-banisher himself.
Orlando starts littering the forest with his terrible poetry, hoping his lady-love Rosalind reads them. He leaves and then Corin and Touchstone wander by, philosophizing. Touchstone is surprised that he finds Corin a "natural philosopher" despite never being at court (and therefore, "learned") but he still thinks him base and common, even as Corin is simply content in his simple life. "Ganymed" enters, tearing down the poems from the trees, and generally laughing at their ridiculous platitudes. Celia reads them as well, and teases Rosalind with the knowledge that it is Orlando who's responsible and that he's somewhere nearby.
Orlando and Jaques enter, with Jaques snidely insulting Orlando's poetry and the object of his love until he is bored of Orlando's self-deprecation. Orlando meets "Ganymed" and admits that he has been the one who has been posting all these love flyers everywhere. "Ganymed" says they will bash the love right out of him if only he come everyday to "woo" them as Orlando would his Rosalind. Though Orlando says he would not be disabused of his "foolishness," he agrees to the challenge.
Touchstone drags Audrey, a country maid he's dug up somewhere, through the forest. He wants to be married to her to simply satisfy his lusts:
As the ox hath his bow, sir, the horse his curb and
the falcon her bells, so man hath his desires; and
as pigeons bill, so wedlock would be nibbling.
What a dick.
Touchstone leads Audrey to Sir Oliver Martext, a less-than-qualified vicar, to wed them. Jaques interrupts this easy-to-break marriage and ruins Touchstone's plans by insisting they find a better official for the ceremony.
Rosalind and Celia argue over whether or not Orlando is actually in love, with Rosalind claiming that during their pseudo-courtship, he kissed her and everything and it was amazing! Celia rolls her eyes and says they shouldn't be so sure yet:
O, that's a brave man! he writes brave verses,
speaks brave words, swears brave oaths and breaks them bravely, quite traverse, athwart the heart of his lover; as a puisny tilter, that spurs his horse but on one side, breaks his staff like a noble goose: but all's brave that youth mounts and folly guides.
Corin comes and says they need to go spy on Silvius and Phebe right away, as it will be a sight to behold. Silvius begs Phebe not to kill his heart with her scorn and she mocks him soundly. Rosalind defends Silvius, saying she is not worthy of him, and Phebe instantly falls in love with "Ganymed." Rosalind says they are "false" and do not love Phebe, so she's barking up the wrong tree, then leaves. Phebe acts kinder to Silvius, but only so he will deliver a letter to "Ganymed."
"Ganymed" debates with Jaques about his proud state of melancholy until Orlando finally shows up for his wooing lesson. They engage in various possible situations where Orlando's lady love either spurns him or adores him:
No, no, Orlando;
men are April when they woo, December when they wed:
maids are May when they are maids, but the sky
changes when they are wives.
Orlando says he would die if Rosalind does not return his affections, to which "Ganymed" replies "But these are all lies: men have died from time to time and worms have eaten them, but not for love."
They have a mock wedding with the eye-rolling "Aliena" as priest until Orlando says he must meet the Duke for dinner. Rosalind admits to Celia that the depths of her love are bottomless.
Jaques and some of the Duke's Lords finish up their hunt and sing a song about horns.
Silvius brings Phebe's letter to Rosalind, addressed to "Ganymed." They read it out loud and accuse Silvius of writing it but he insists he did not. They tell Silvius to tell Phebe to fuck off just as Oliver strolls by, asking about where he can find their cottage and the fair boy who lives there, as he has a "bloody napkin" from Orlando. He recounts a ridiculous story about how Orlando meant to meet with his love tutor until he stumbled upon a man under a tree with a snake around his neck, guarded by a lioness, and, realizing it was his brother in danger, Orlando wrestled the lioness to defeat, rescuing him. Oliver admits it was a trap to kill Orlando, but upon being selflessly rescued and reintroduced to the Duke in the forest, Oliver was moved by his brother's act, and when Orlando revealed his lion-begotten wound and swooned, he asked for "Rosalind." Hearing this, Rosalind faints and her friends rouse her and drag her back to the cottage, as she insists that the faint was "play-acting."
Touchstone and Audrey are chillin' together when the encounter William, Audrey's dull suitor. Touchstone scares him off with his angry wit and Corin arrives to tell them that "Ganymed" is summoning their clown.
Oliver tells Orlando that he is swiftly in love with "Aliena" and Orlando blesses the future wedding. Rosalind, still in her "Ganymed" costume, is grieved to see poor Orlando with his arm in a sling. They discuss Oliver's nuptials and how the Duke will be present and how Orlando is sad to see Oliver get married before he is even reunited with his Rosalind. "Ganymed" promises that since they were friendly with a magician since the age of three, they can make Rosalind appear before him at Oliver's wedding. Silvius and Phebe arrive and they debate Phebe's love for "Ganymed" and her scorn of Silvius. They agree to meet the next day and only then decide who loves whom.
Touchstone and Audrey are vaguely entertained by two of the Duke's pages with a pastoral song.
The next day, the Duke, Jaques, Orlando, Oliver, and Celia gather. "Ganymed," Silvius and Phebe join them. They are skeptical about whether or not "Ganymed" can perform this magic they propose. "Ganymed" trots off with "Aliena," leaving the Duke & Co. to wonder if this "pretty youth" looks familiar. Then they must deal with Touchstone and Audrey. Touchstone recounts a quarrel he had over some dude's beard and "the seven causes" (UGH) but luckily, HYMEN THE GOD OF MARRIAGE (WOW) enters with both Celia and Rosalind (dressed as fancy ladies). Hymen recites a poem as he hands off the ladies to their respective men and blesses the four marriages about to take place as everyone stands by, dumbfounded.
Just then, the OTHER JAQUES shows up to say that Duke Frederick has recanted his bullshit because he had a conversion experience, and all the lands he took are returned to Duke Senior. The Duke invites him to join their "rustic revelry" as Jaques (of the forest) confers blessings on all the couples before he insists on leaving. Everyone starts dancing and Rosalind gives an epilogue, unsure as to whether she really needs to do one, but does so anyway, saying she would kiss anyone she feels like, then bids the audience farewell.
The week started out kind of blah, honestly. The copy of the 1936 adaptation with a BABY Laurence Olivier was rather poor and the opposite of HD--it felt like it was being broadcast from the surface of Mars. But somehow, Rosalind--played by Elizabeth Bergner--outshone Sir Laurence himself, probably because Orlando is little more than a surprisingly strong pretty boy and you know, not the cleverest of humans either.
The 1978 version from the BBC was an improvement, but the entire time, one gets the sense that a well-monetized Renn fest cast would have done as well, Helen Mirren's Rosalind being the one exception of course. I mean, Dame Helen is a very pretty youth indeed. And the cleverest ever.
Y'all know by now that I am NOT SORRY for my Sir Ken fangirling (and if you don't know, you will soon because HAMLET), so it is no surprise that his 2006 adaptation is my favorite. It is objectively the most charming and allows Rosalind to be fully expressed in Bryce Dallas Howard's effortless performance. She's also surrounded by a near-perfect and memorable cast, so that helps tremendously. It's always fun to see Ken's repertory faves Richard Briers and Brian Blessed (in a dual-role as both Dukes!), but Ramola Garai's Celia and Alfred Molina's Touchstone are excellent, rounding out the Arden Cottage Trio wonderfully. Kevin Kline's brooding Jaques totally works and Adrian Lester as Oliver actually makes the otherwise hateful character one to be pitied with warmth. Sir Ken even makes quick cameo during the epilogue, which is cute.
It's a beautiful film, set in Japan in the late 19th century, where apparently all the English Japanophiles tried their best to assimilate into the culture there IRL. Sure, it has a whiff of orientalism, but it's mild, and it's less about white folks Columbussing than simply providing a beautiful and enchanting backdrop for the action. However, Imperialism rears its ugly head because Shakespeare did include a greater theme about courtly (i.e.: privileged) people finding solace in the country (i.e. exotic) life, so take that as you like it. No one was PC back then :P
P.S. Gird your loins, folks, because the next two weeks will be ALL HAMLET ALL THE TIME FOREVER. See you at Elsinore!
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