We're now entering the middle period of our Billy's career, and these next history plays really ramp things up, if you ask nearly anybody. The Henriad, aka Richard II, Henry IV Parts 1 & 2, and Henry V are my favorite history plays. They contain characters that for the first time truly pop off the page fully formed, as if Shakespeare were just writing down what his closest friends were doing verbatim.
Bloom fawningly spends his entire chapter on the Henry IV plays extolling the virtues and vices of Falstaff, so it was nice to read more about the other characters from Goddard's essay. I mean, I like Falstaff too, but give it a rest, dude. Personally, I find Hotspur to be a fun character to follow. He's bursting with life and personality, and may very well have taken over the whole Henriad if not given the Mercutio treatment (*sad face*). You see, I'm quite familiar with his home of Northumberland and some of the settings in the plays. I've visited not only Warkworth castle, the original seat of the Percies, but Alnwick Castle as well, where Hotspur's descendants have lived on and off for over 700 years.
They appropriately shot some scenes for The Hollow Crown at Alnwick, and some other films you might have heard of, like Harry Potter and Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Breathtaking location, that. It's the second largest inhabited castle in England after Windsor Castle itself. It's my favorite. I loved chasing the Duke of Northumberland's guinea fowl every time I visited.
The town of Alnwick has a street named for Hotspur, and they have a handsome statue of him in the castle's courtyard. The actor who plays Hotspur in The Hollow Crown is Joe Armstrong, son of Alun Armstrong, who plays his father, the Earl of Northumbria. I totally have a crush on Joe and his Hotspur. I adore the Northumbrian brogue something awful, and he's got great chemistry with Downton Abbey alumna Michelle Dockery's Lady Kate.
Anyways, these plays are special to my heart. The language is solid and well-paced, with scenes alternating between the King's high court and the lowly streets of London with deliberate and effective contrasts between actions and characters. It's laced with themes of statecraft and conceit, humility and deceit. Unlike Bloom, I believe young Prince Hal is not so much a blowhard but the master monarch in the making. He does, after all, effortlessly rouse people into fighting his dumb French wars for him, reciting some of the most memorable nationalistic speeches in the English language.
We shall get there soon, but for now, we must examine the beginnings of our grand adventure in rebellion and war.
Old grumpy dad Henry IV introduces the play by complaining how it's been twelve months since he took the throne and still hasn't gotten around to his vacay to the Holy Land in order to wash himself of the sin of killing off Richard II. The bad news is that Welsh rebels, led by the ballsy Glendower, are out for blood. The good news is that Henry "Hotspur" Percy and his father Northumberland's forces have defeated the Scots and taken prisoners. Henry IV confesses that he is a Hotspur fanboy and wishes he and his unthrifty son the Prince of Wales were switched at birth. His rose-colored glasses fog a bit when his councillors tell him, "Well, Lord, your favorite not-son is not giving up his prisoners to you for some reason." Henry says Hotspur must come to him and answer for this shit.
Meanwhile, the young Henry, aka Hal, is merrily taking the piss out of Sir John Falstaff, his plump and roguish father figure of the taverns and boarding houses of Eastcheap, London. Poins, Hal's butt buddy, comes in and tells them about a couple of pilgrims they can ambush in the countryside and rob as easily as confections from an infant. Hal balks, saying he is not a thief, but Poins takes Hal aside and convinces him that in reality, this will be a jest against Falstaff. He says he and Hal will disguise themselves as they watch Falstaff and his bros attack the pilgrims, then they will jump out and ambush the ambushers. Hal is totally into it. Poins leaves, and Hal soliloquizes about how he's just pretending to be a commoner and a dumbass so that when he finally ascends the throne, he will surprise everyone with his reformation into an upstanding ruler:
Hal: I know you all, and will awhile uphold
The unyoked humour of your idleness:
Yet herein will I imitate the sun,
Who doth permit the base contagious clouds
To smother up his beauty from the world,
That, when he please again to be himself,
Being wanted, he may be more wonder'd at,
By breaking through the foul and ugly mists
Of vapours that did seem to strangle him.
If all the year were playing holidays,
To sport would be as tedious as to work;
But when they seldom come, they wish'd for come,
And nothing pleaseth but rare accidents.
So, when this loose behavior I throw off
And pay the debt I never promised,
By how much better than my word I am,
By so much shall I falsify men's hopes;
And like bright metal on a sullen ground,
My reformation, glittering o'er my fault,
Shall show more goodly and attract more eyes
Than that which hath no foil to set it off.
I'll so offend, to make offence a skill;
Redeeming time when men think least I will.
I love that speech.
Hotspur comes before the King and rather charmingly explains why he lashed out at the "popinjay" messenger who disrespected him, and that's why he refused to send the prisoners. He adds that he'll give them over if the King ransoms his brother-in-law, Mortimer, who was captured in Wales. Henry rails, demanding the prisoners, with no promise to rescue Mortimer(who was, after all, named by Richard as his official heir). Hotspur whirls into a "woman's mood" and yells about how the King owes him and his father a huge favor for helping him ascend the throne in the first place. Northumberland and Hotspur's uncle, Worcester, agree that they should get the Archbishop of York on their side to rise against Henry, with the Scots and the Welsh to support them and stick Mortimer on the throne.
The pilgrims leave their inn and head down the road, where Falstaff, Peto, and Bardolph are waiting. They wonder where Hal and Poins have gone, and think them naught but cowards as they rob the pilgrims themselves. Then Hal and Poins, laughing, scare off their friends and watch them scurry off.
At Warkworth Castle, Hotspur reads a letter from some lord who thinks this rebellion idea is bullshit. He scoffs and writes off the lord as a total ponce. Kate, Hotspur's wife, asks him why the hell he's having such warlike dreams and sweating in his sleep and generally ignoring her and he tells her off, saying he's gotta head out on his horse. She gets mad, but then he says he can't say what he's up to, but she can follow him the next day.
Back at The Boar's Head Tavern, Hal is getting pissed with the drawers (the tapsters, who "draw" the wine/ale from the casks) and he and Poins decide to play a joke on one of them (poor, sweet dumb Francis) until Falstaff shows up. When he does, he rants about how Hal and Poins reneged on him and missed quite a show, increasing the number of blokes they fought with almost every sentence. Finally, Hal spills that he and Poins were there, and were the ones who watched Falstaff, Bardolph, and Peto run off like fools when they attacked. Caught in his lie, Falstaff pivots, saying he knew it was Hal all along and simply had the discretion to not harm him. Just then, a nobleman comes to the door to let Hal know that a rebellion is coming and he is summoned before the King. Falstaff suggests they practice what Hal will say, with Falstaff acting as the King as he sits on his "throne" and wears a cushion on his head as a crown. He hilariously chides his "son" for being a rouge, but then talks up that "fat man" he hangs out with al the time. Then Hal takes the "throne" and Falstaff pretends to be Hal. The "King" slings every insult possible at Falstaff. Then comes one of the most telling/heartbreaking moments:
Falstaff: But to say I know more harm in him than in myself,
were to say more than I know. That he is old, the
more the pity, his white hairs do witness it; but
that he is, saving your reverence, a whoremaster,
that I utterly deny. If sack and sugar be a fault,
God help the wicked! if to be old and merry be a
sin, then many an old host that I know is damned: if
to be fat be to be hated, then Pharaoh's lean kine
are to be loved. No, my good lord; banish Peto,
banish Bardolph, banish Poins: but for sweet Jack
Falstaff, kind Jack Falstaff, true Jack Falstaff,
valiant Jack Falstaff, and therefore more valiant,
being, as he is, old Jack Falstaff, banish not him
thy Harry's company, banish not him thy Harry's
company: banish plump Jack, and banish all the world.
Hal: I do, I will.
This moment, when done well, is almost more devastating than when Henry actually banishes Falstaff at the end of the next play.
Anyway, so then the sheriff shows up, looking for Falstaff, but Hal covers for him. The Sheriff gone, Hal checks on Falstaff to find he has fallen asleep behind the arras and upon inspecting his pockets, finds only notes on what he owes to the Inn.
At Glendower's castle, Hotspur, Worcester, and Mortimer conspire over a map and divide up what parts of England they will get after their successful rebellion. They argue about the land and say toxic masculine things until Mortimer's Welsh wife comes in and starts singing lovingly in Welsh. Hotspur and Kate have a mocking argument and probably head off to bed together for make-up sex.
Hal goes to his grumpy old dad and gets a tongue-lashing that the prodigal son probably deserves. The irony here is that Henry contrasts himself with his silly son, but he uses some of the exact wording Hal used earlier to describe his plan to surprise people:
By being seldom seen, I could not stir
But like a comet I was wonder'd at;
That men would tell their children 'This is he;'
Others would say 'Where, which is Bolingbroke?'
And then I stole all courtesy from heaven,
And dress'd myself in such humility
That I did pluck allegiance from men's hearts,
Loud shouts and salutations from their mouths,
Even in the presence of the crowned king.
Thus did I keep my person fresh and new;
My presence, like a robe pontifical,
Ne'er seen but wonder'd at: and so my state,
Seldom but sumptuous, showed like a feast
And won by rareness such solemnity.
To this, Hal gets serious and swears he will redeem himself and make him more proud than is Hotspur were his son. Henry puts Hal in charge of a portion of the army.
Back at the Boar's Head, Falstaff and Bardolph trade drunken barbs and Mistress Quickly insists that Falstaff owes her a great deal of money. He accuses her of running an inferior tavern where ne'er-do-wells have picked his pockets. Hal arrives and they complain tohim, so he sighs heavily and admits that he, in fact, picked Falstaff's pockets but found only a copper ing and some IOU records, no cash. Hal announces that he's done Falstaff a solid and given him a charge in the army against the rebellion, ordering him to muster his men and meet him the next day.
Near Shrewsbury, at Hotspur's rebel camp, Hotspur receives a message from his father that he is ill and cannot join him in the field. Hotspur bristles, Worcester worries, but then Hotspur says that the fewer men they have,the greater the honor they have to share when they are victorious. Then more news: the King and Hal and their armies are coming soon, but Glendower will be another two weeks. Hotspur doesn't let this bother him much.
Falstaff, with his ragged battalion in tow, is walking to Shrewsbury. He orders Bardolph to buy him some sack and Bardolph says "Fuck off" as Falstaff says out loud that he is keeping the soldiers' payment for himself and allowing himself to be bribed off by potential soldiers to dodge the draft. Hal rides up on horse beside him and sniffs at the pitiful group Falstaff has mustered. Falstaff shrugs and says that whether good or bad men, they're all "food for powder, food for powder; they'll fill a pit as well as better."
Back at the rebel camp, Hotspur argue with his men over when to begin battle. Douglas agrees with Hotspur that they should get on with it already, but Worcester and others say they should hold up until more men show. Sir Blunt comes from the King to find out what the hell this rebellion is all about and Hotspur flies into a rage about how he and his father did the King a solid when Bolingbroke was just a sad exile returning to England and ended up killing Richard II and all that backstory and that he's never gave them any gratitude.
In a short and random scene, the Archbishop of York contemplates the wisdom of this rebellion and tries to convince himself that this was a good idea.
At the King's camp, Worcester shows up and they quarrel about whether or not Hotspur's reasoning behind this rebellion is valid. Hal compliments Hotspur on his valor and corouage and suggest they save time and lives by just having a single combat fight between just the two of them. The King says he will pardon the rebels if they surrender now. Falstaff makes a snide joke and Hal shushes him. Just before he rides off, Hal says Falstaff owes God a death, playing on the old pronunciation for "debt."
Falstaff's soliloquy about honor is an enlightening one:
'Tis not due yet; I would be loath to pay him before
his day. What need I be so forward with him that
calls not on me? Well, 'tis no matter; honour pricks
me on. Yea, but how if honour prick me off when I
come on? how then? Can honour set to a leg? no: or
an arm? no: or take away the grief of a wound? no.
Honour hath no skill in surgery, then? no. What is
honour? a word. What is in that word honour? what
is that honour? air. A trim reckoning! Who hath it?
he that died o' Wednesday. Doth he feel it? no.
Doth he hear it? no. 'Tis insensible, then. Yea,
to the dead. But will it not live with the living?
no. Why? detraction will not suffer it. Therefore
ends my catechism.
I mean, he's not wrong.
Worcester returns to Hotspur and warns that the offer of pardon is not good, because now the King can always use this whole spat against them in the future and easily find a reason to fuck them later. Hotspur hears how Hal said honorable things about him in his challenge for single combat, but he doesn't believe for a second that Hal is reformed and he can't wait to meet him in the field of battle.
The battle commences,and it soon becomes apparent that the King has clothed several men in his raiment to confuse the rebels. Douglas kills Blunt, who is one of the counterfeits.
Falstaff's entire company is killed and Hal rides over, asking to use Falstaff's sword, Falstaff offers his pistol instead, but the only thing in the pistol case is a bottle of goddamned sack. Hal throws it at him and rides off.
Hal gets wounded but insists he keep fighting. He and his father are proud of John of Lancaster's valor. Hal saves his dad's ass after Douglas almost kills him. Hotspur and Hal finally meet and have it out. "Two stars keep not their motion in one sphere," says Hal. They both fight valiantly but Hal eventually overcomes Hotspur.
Hotspur: O, Harry, thou hast robb'd me of my youth!
I better brook the loss of brittle life
Than those proud titles thou hast won of me;
They wound my thoughts worse than sword my flesh:
But thought's the slave of life, and life time's fool;
And time, that takes survey of all the world,
Must have a stop. O, I could prophesy,
But that the earthy and cold hand of death
Lies on my tongue: no, Percy, thou art dust
And food for--
*Dies*
Hal: For worms, brave Percy: fare thee well, great heart!
Ill-weaved ambition, how much art thou shrunk!
When that this body did contain a spirit,
A kingdom for it was too small a bound;
But now two paces of the vilest earth
Is room enough: this earth that bears thee dead
Bears not alive so stout a gentleman.
If thou wert sensible of courtesy,
I should not make so dear a show of zeal:
But let my favours hide thy mangled face;
And, even in thy behalf, I'll thank myself
For doing these fair rites of tenderness.
Adieu, and take thy praise with thee to heaven!
Thy ignominy sleep with thee in the grave,
But not remember'd in thy epitaph!
That's some good stuff.
Hal walks away and sees Falstaff fallen on the ground and recites a eulogy not quite as nice as the one he gave for Hotspur.
Once Hal walks off, Falstaff rises, saying he was just a counterfeit of death. He walks over to Hotspur and stabs him, planning on dragging his body to the King to prove that it was he who ended Hotspur. He comes upon Hal and his brother Lancaster and tells them how he and Percy were both faking death until they got up and fought to the actual death.
Lancaster, answering for us all, says "This is the strangest tale that ever I heard."
Hal rolls his eyes and adds,"This is the strangest fellow, brother John." Hal sighs and says that if a lie gives Falstaff some ounce of grace, he is happy to give it to him.
Hal and his bro hobble over to the King and report that they've won the day. Worcester is sentenced to death, but Hal pleads for amnesty for Douglas, who ran off as soon as Percy died. The King says OK sure whatever and then gives orders to divide the rest of their army to go finish off the rebels elsewhere.
To be Continued...