And we're back! The next Henry IV picks up pretty much exactly where the last one left off, with everyone dealing with the repercussions of the mess that was Shrewsbury. Falstaff is sittin' pretty on some new duds purchased with his reward money for "slaying" Hotspur, Hal is happy to have showed his valor is worth more than people expected, and the King is as low as his country's general morale. It's essentially a continuation of what is a ten-act epic history story that affords old Billy Shakes the luxury of developing the main characters into the unforgettable oft-quoted-by-English-degreed-people bunch they are.
In a Prologue fit for another Julie Taymor movie, "Rumour"--a character "painted in tongues"--is spreading news across England re: the battle at Shrewsbury that is patently false. I would imagine he looks exactly like the current American president.
At Warkworth, the FAKE NEWS comes to the Earl of Northumberland (who was too ill in the last play to make it to the battlefield) in the forms of LORD Bardolph (why oh why have two Bardolphs?) saying that Hotspur won the day. Travers and Morton arrive and doubly confirm that Bardolph is full of shit. Northumberland decides that along with the Archbishop of York, he will continue the rebellion and gain revenge.
Sir John Falstaff saunters through the streets of London, newly pardoned of his roadside robbery attempt because of his good deeds at Shrewsbury. When he spots the Chief Lord Justice he turns away in haste, but the Justice catches up with him anyway to browbeat him about his roguish life and will not give him 1000 pounds to gather troops for the army against Northumberland's new army. Falstaff writes some letters to people who might spot him some cash.
The archbishop, Mowbray, Hastings, and Lord Bardolph all meet to kibbitz about their rebellion. Will Northumberland help them or crap out at the last second like last time? Will the Welsh and French further their ambitions? They decide they need to get popular support.
Mistress Quickly wants Falstaff arrested for back-debt, and Falstaff and his flunkies fight her off. Conveniently, the Lord Chief Justice shows up to break up the fight and orders Falstaff to pay up. While the Chief Justice is distracted with a message, Falstaff claims he will settle the debt, simultaneously manages to borrow more money from Quickly, and gets her to invite him to dinner along with Doll Tearsheet. The Chief Justice says that the news on the street is that they have orders to recruit more soldiers for the fight in the north.
Elsewhere, Hal and Poins are chillin' out, contemplating the newly-won battle. Hal craves small beer, and wonders if that reflects badly on him, that he likes low-brow things:
Belike then my appetite was not princely got; for,
by my troth, I do now remember the poor creature,
small beer. But, indeed, these humble
considerations make me out of love with my
greatness.
Small beer, being the low-alcohol session stuff that will only asymptotically get you drunk. Like Boddington's or Fuller's ESB. Mmmmm beer.
Poins says Hal should stop worrying if he looks like a basic bitch and be more serious in a time like this, with his father being ill and all. Hal points out that if he appears sad and dejected, people will believe his grief a hypocrisy because he's been up Falstaff's butt for so long. But IRL, he is sad. Just then, Bardolph shows up with Falstaff's serving boy and delivers a letter in which he insults Poins ("I'll steep this letter and sack and make him eat it!" Poins insists). The boys pay off Bardolph and the boy to not divulge their plan to spy on Falstaff as he dines with Quickly and Tearsheet that night.
Just as Northumberland is about to fly off to join the Archbishop and Co., his wife and daughter-in-law manage to persuade him to go to Scotland instead and just wait this shit out.
Back at the Boar's Head tavern, Hal and Poins hide themselves in the room where Falstaff is going to eat with his ladies. Doll is ill with drink, and she and Falstaff trade barbs at each other even though that deep down, Doll is worried about him going off to war. Pistol comes in for a few lines to make some more insults and innuendoes until Falstaff sends him away. Falstaff and Doll discuss Hal and Poins and he makes fun of them both. Falstaff says he feels old, but she says "I love thee better than I love e'er a scurvy young
boy of them all," which is about as romantic as it gets in Eastcheap. Hal and Poins jump out and accuse Falstaff of throwing shade and Falstaff tries to back his ass up. Peto brings a message from the court about the King and Hal leaves. Several captains are looking for Falstaff to off to the war and Doll tearfully wishes him farewell.
At Westminster Palace, the King waxes poetic about his insomnia:
How many thousand of my poorest subjects
Are at this hour asleep! O sleep, O gentle sleep,
Nature's soft nurse, how have I frighted thee,
That thou no more wilt weigh my eyelids down
And steep my senses in forgetfulness?
Why rather, sleep, liest thou in smoky cribs,
Upon uneasy pallets stretching thee
And hush'd with buzzing night-flies to thy slumber,
Than in the perfumed chambers of the great,
Under the canopies of costly state,
And lull'd with sound of sweetest melody?
O thou dull god, why liest thou with the vile
In loathsome beds, and leavest the kingly couch
A watch-case or a common 'larum-bell?
Wilt thou upon the high and giddy mast
Seal up the ship-boy's eyes, and rock his brains
In cradle of the rude imperious surge
And in the visitation of the winds,
Who take the ruffian billows by the top,
Curling their monstrous heads and hanging them
With deafening clamour in the slippery clouds,
That, with the hurly, death itself awakes?
Canst thou, O partial sleep, give thy repose
To the wet sea-boy in an hour so rude,
And in the calmest and most stillest night,
With all appliances and means to boot,
Deny it to a king? Then happy low, lie down!
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.
He hems and haws about how his old friends who helped him to gain the crown are now his biggest enemies. Warwick says the rumor that the rebels have 50,00 men is FAKE NEWS and that they've already defeated Glendower, so all is going well. He encourages the King to take rest. Henry can't help but think about still making it to the Holy Land someday.
Somewhere in Gloucestershire, Justice Shallow and Silence gossip and chat about how rowdy they were in their youth at law school and how Shallow knew Falstaff back then. Falstaff shows up to review the men the Justices have scrounged up. One by one, the oddly-named townsmen are poked and "pricked" by Falstaff until he gets two out of six to pay him off not to do service and the other four are a sad and rascally bunch indeed. They get back to gossiping and Falstaff says Shallow's claims about his law school days are rubbish. Falstaff resolves to take advantage of Shallow on his way back from war.
The Archbishop gets word that Northumberland has chickened out and the rebels roll their eyes, not really surprised. Westmorland butts in and asks WTF they want from the King and the Archbishop lists a bunch of grievances, Westmorland says that's BS, yadda yadda yadda. Westmorland brings the list back to Prince John's camp while the rebels yap abut their chances at defeat. Westmorland comes back, asking that they follow him for a parley with Prince John.
In Prince Johns' camp, the bunch of them yell at each other about rebellion. Prince John eventually agrees to relay the grievances to his father, suggesting that this is all a big misunderstanding and that they should both call off their armies. Prince John gives the side-eye to his dudes as the rebels agree and scatter their forces. Just as they run off, the Prince orders his men to arrest the rebel leaders, saying he never promised they'd be safe and he totally pwned them.
Meanwhile, at the back, Falstaff basically accidentally captures one of the escaping rebels, who surrenders peacefully anyway. The Prince sends the man off to be executed. The Prince calls off the rebel hunt to go back to his sick father. Falstaff politely asks if he may head back through Gloucestershire on his way back and the Prince don't give a shit. As he leaves, Falstaff goes on a tangent about how wonderful wine is and how unfortunate it is that Prince John doesn't drink it and how awesome Hal is for drinking plenty.
Back in London, the King announces that he's ready for a crusade to the Holy Land, but he is too weak at the moment. He frets about Hal and asks if his younger brother Thomas will talk to him about mending his ways. Henry bemoans Hal's lowly companionship and Warwick suggests that Hal is merely "studying" the common folk to learn their ways and ingratiate himself with his people. Westmorland comes with news of the defeated rebels and how the sheriff of Yorkshire has also defeated Northumberland. The King goes into a fit of joy and then has a seizure and his sons worry that he is dying.
The King agrees to lie down but only if the crown is placed on his pillow next to him. Hal waltzes in, half-joking about how everybody is super sad. Hal insists he'll sit and watch over his father for a bit. What comes next is a speech that may be delivered/interpreted a handful of ways:
Why doth the crown lie there upon his pillow,
Being so troublesome a bedfellow?
O polish'd perturbation! golden care!
That keep'st the ports of slumber open wide
To many a watchful night! sleep with it now!
Yet not so sound and half so deeply sweet
As he whose brow with homely biggen bound
Snores out the watch of night. O majesty!
When thou dost pinch thy bearer, thou dost sit
Like a rich armour worn in heat of day,
That scalds with safety. By his gates of breath
There lies a downy feather which stirs not:
Did he suspire, that light and weightless down
Perforce must move. My gracious lord! my father!
This sleep is sound indeed, this is a sleep
That from this golden rigol hath divorced
So many English kings. Thy due from me
Is tears and heavy sorrows of the blood,
Which nature, love, and filial tenderness,
Shall, O dear father, pay thee plenteously:
My due from thee is this imperial crown,
Which, as immediate as thy place and blood,
Derives itself to me. Lo, here it sits,
Which God shall guard: and put the world's whole strength
Into one giant arm, it shall not force
This lineal honour from me: this from thee
Will I to mine leave, as 'tis left to me.
Depending on the actor's choices, Hal could be genuinely torn up, or faking sorrow while jonesing for his ascendancy, or just being realistic about the effects of power and displaying an appropriate amount of grief for the first time because he's actually alone for once. Knowing full well how he handles things from here on out, I just think he's a fucking political genius who knows exactly how to conduct kingship and statecraft and rouse pride in his people and this is just him stating the facts of life in court. Believe what you wish. I personally enjoyed Tom Hiddleston's take in the Hollow Crown series, in which he presented Hal as genuinely divided between the grief of his father's illness and how he should express it publicly. This extended to the scene where he rejects Falstaff as well, and the pathos of his regrets is clearly visible.
Anyway, after his little speech, Hal steps out of the room, carrying the crown with him, and the King wakes up, screaming for his precious. He finds the Prince and goes into a whole spiel about how Hal probably wants him dead so he foolishly "seek'st the greatness that will o'erwhelm thee." When Hal is finally allowed a word in edgewise, he insists that he truly thought the King had passed and that he only took the crown as "To try with it, as with an enemy/That had before my face murder'd my father." Henry relents and is moved to not blame him. He has Hal sit with him alone to give him some fatherly/kingly advice about how to take power, i.e. "busy giddy minds /With foreign quarrels; that action, hence borne out/May waste the memory of the former days" and keep any rebels too distracted to rebel.
The King's attendants return to them and he walks off to his chamber to rest. It is called the Jerusalem Chamber and Henry nods and says that the prophecy about him dying in "the Holy Land" will come true after all.
Back in Gloucestershire, Shallow begs Falstaff to stick around so he can entertain him all night. Falstaff considers how easy it is to get on Shallow's good side with just a little flattery.
At the palace, The Lord Chief Justice sheepishly contemplates his fate now that Hal is technically King. He is worried because he once threw Hal into jail for being a little shit. The other Princes and gathered noblemen mourn Henry IV as Hal enters and gives a short and encouraging talk about how he promises to be better than they all expect, because this isn't the Turkish court after all hahahaha. He berates the Chief Justice a bit but ultimately says he understands his reasoning, as he was representing the King at the time and Hal was being a dick. Hal promises that he will take the Chief Justice's advice from now on.
In Shallow's orchard, Falstaff gets drunk with his friend and they reminisce about their exploits in the old days and how they had certainly "heard the chimes at midnight." Pistol runs up to them and announces that the King is as dead as "nail in door." This is great news for them since they are now bosom buddies with the new King Henry V.
In Eastcheap, Mistress Quickly and Doll Tearsheet get arrested for helping Pistol beat a man to death. They resist, saying they've done nothing and that Doll is with child and they wish Falstaff were there to sort this whole thing out.
Just after Hal's coronation, Falstaff fusses about his appearance with Shallow, but is too excited to care for long. They join the gathered crowd near Westminster Abbey to catch a glimpse of the new King. Pistol tells Falstaff about how Doll is in prison and Falstaff says he'll free her yet. King Henry V walks by and Falstaff and his buddies call out to him. The King stops and asks the Chief Justice to shut them up. He turns to Falstaff and delivers a heart-breaking speech:
I know thee not, old man: fall to thy prayers;
How ill white hairs become a fool and jester!
I have long dream'd of such a kind of man,
So surfeit-swell'd, so old and so profane;
But, being awaked, I do despise my dream.
Make less thy body hence, and more thy grace;
Leave gormandizing; know the grave doth gape
For thee thrice wider than for other men.
Reply not to me with a fool-born jest:
Presume not that I am the thing I was;
For God doth know, so shall the world perceive,
That I have turn'd away my former self;
So will I those that kept me company.
When thou dost hear I am as I have been,
Approach me, and thou shalt be as thou wast,
The tutor and the feeder of my riots:
Till then, I banish thee, on pain of death,
As I have done the rest of my misleaders,
Not to come near our person by ten mile.
For competence of life I will allow you,
That lack of means enforce you not to evil:
And, as we hear you do reform yourselves,
We will, according to your strengths and qualities,
Give you advancement. Be it your charge, my lord,
To see perform'd the tenor of our word. Set on.
Falstaff stands agape as the King leaves, telling himself and his friends that the King must say these things in public, but that he will be sent for in private later. The Chief Justice then drags Falstaff, et. al. to prison. Prince John Lancaster tells the Chief Justice that he believes war with France is in the cards. An epilogue apologizes for the preceding play and promises more to come with the story of France and Henry V's wooing of Princess Katherine.
Ok, as tragic as this final scene is, let's talk about how essential it truly is that our Will wrote Falstaff out (so he only has an off-stage mention in Henry V). We all saw how ridiculous he was on the field at Shrewsbury after all, and how he spoke out of turn just once in front of the King and it was enough to poke a hole in the pompousness inflating that scene. It was funny... too funny. Imagine just for a moment, if Falstaff were on the sidelines of the siege at Harfleur or hanging out with the soldiers the night before Agincourt... he would have deflated all the nationalist pride out of everything. That's not what Shakespeare would dare attempt (at least not overtly) at the time.
Queen Elizabeth, like any monarch, preferred her people to be patriotic about their country. If Shakespeare had written anything questioning the divine hand behind the Throne, the state's censors wold have quashed that shit immediately (recall the example of the effeminate and ineffectual King of Richard II, which a few of England's contemporary Lords led by the Earl of Essex saw as a not-so-subtle analog for the Queen, and their secret staging of the play was seen as an affront to her rule). This led to many a writer's uber-subtle ironies glossed over by some rousing speeches to excite the masses about England's grand God-given destiny in a world where their heir-free "virgin" Queen was busy trying to prove the power of womanhood.
Despite what certain recent Netflix filmmakers believe, keeping Falstaff on the payroll and having him follow Hal to France to advise him at Agincourt is patently absurd and downright irresponsible storytelling. The King, last year's moody and sloppy re-telling of the Henriad, feels like a bad revisionist fanfic. It proves my point perfectly. First off, Falstaff never would have been as deeply emo as he was in the film and he certainly wouldn't have been wiser than the young King re: battles and statecraft. Falstaff never gave a shit about that stuff. He loved life and lived it. In The King, he was totally out of character. Even if the writers managed to keep him IN character, Falstaff would have ruined everything by taking the piss out of the entire situation, demeaning everyone's "valour" with a snarky remark and downplaying the importance of Henry's reformation in the eyes of France and the world. Ultimately, allowing Falstaff into the King's inner circle sucks all the juicy pathos out of Henry V's ascendancy. Getting thrust into the seat of power is not meant to be easy. You cannot take your old life with you. The screenwriter clearly missed the boat on that one. Ugh.
On top of all that, I truly wanted The King to be half-decent, since it was our soon-to-be-unveiled Paul Atreides cast as the young Hal and you can imagine my massive disappointment that the movie was not worthy of his talents. Oh well.
On the opposite end of the Shakespeare remixed spectrum are two far superior films: My Own Private Idaho (1991) and Chimes at Midnight (1965). Let's talk about Keanu first. I last saw Gus Van Sant's classic cult indie darling back in the 90s or whatever, when my Shakespeare knowledge was as thin as Falstaff is wide. Keanu's character, Scott, is a modern-day Hal, whose prodigal son story is as timeless as it gets. He slums it in the slums, carousing with squatters in Boise, being as charmingly bisexual as can be, while his old dad is running the family business and shaking his head at his raunchy son's ways. There's an iconoclastic fat homeless man--Bob--who fancies Scott his rich bud who will finance his weirdness one day for sure. This plot line rolls out predictably (if you're familiar with Henry IV at all) with scenes and lines lifted straight from the Henry IV plays. The other half of the film is about Scott's downtrodden friend Mike (our dearly departed River Phoenix) who turns tricks and follows along with Scott's exploits and drags him into his quest to find his lost mother on the road.
It's a fabulously executed retelling of the play and even has little details that will get any Bard-lover squeeing. Great stuff.
My favorite cinematic discovery of this Shakespeare project so far is Orson Welles' Chimes at Midnight, aka Falstaff from 1965. It's a tour-de-force expertly edited melange of striking black-and-white scenes and text from the entire Henriad, including a little Merry Wives for good measure. It includes all our favorite characters, but revolves mostly around Orson's aptly self-cast role of our favorite fat man of Eastcheap. Orson's Falstaff is jolly and entertaining but nuanced with facets of cynicism and melancholy that highlights the character and the text perfectly.
Thanks to Criterion Channel, I was able to view this masterpiece of Shakespearean film, which I would say is even one of Welles' best ever. It has all the deep focus and extreme angles you know and love from Citizen Kane as well as dialogue cobbled together to make a seamless cohesive story out of the five plays. The tale behind its production is just as fascinating and insane as you'd expect from Welles. It was done on a modest budget and at one point they ran out of money and couldn't continue until Welles scrounged up more funding. Several of the principal cast members were only available at limited times, some only for a few days. Some actors' voices had to be post-dubbed because their Italian accents were too heavy or background noise interrupted on-set scenes. The entire concept was born out of a stage play Welles made with John Houseman in 1939 called Five Kings, which was itself a paired-down version of an earlier play Welles worked on which chronicled NINE plays and ran the gamut of chronological plotlines from Richard II all the way to Richard III.
It's fucking brilliant.
Obviously, BBC's Hollow Crown series pulls through for us with a strong handful of respected actors in both parts of Henry IV, not least of which is Simon Russell Beale's merry and lugubrious Falstaff who on more than one occasion is actually cuddly. Jeremy Irons does his Jeremy Irons thing, but well within the corral of Shakespeare's intentions. Hiddleston is uber-charming, giving life and appeal to the traditionally semi-flat and divisive Hal. And I'll just give a shout-out to my boyfriend David Dawson, Alfred the Great of The Last Kingdom fame, who is Hal's hanger-on, Poins. I'd love to see him do more Shakespeare. He's clearly a natural at it. GOD I miss Alfred/Uhtred dynamic so bad this season.
I will always feel like I'm missing something when I discuss the Henriad, but for now, I must digress. Next week, a slight break with the singularly oddball The Merry Wives of Windsor and then we join back up with Henry V for some serious contemplation (and so much scholarship to read, damnit) as we continue our journey into the heart of old William's career.