What's curious about Much Ado About Nothing is that it's considered one of the "high comedies" but it's not especially stuffed with sparkling wit, with the very obvious exception of the banter provided by everyone's favorite quarrelers, Beatrice and Benedick. Ultimately, any production of this play is going to hinge on how good your Beatrice and Benedick are. What one might normally consider the "main" plot--that of a woman being set up with a husband by her father--is de facto just the bread and lettuce surrounding the real meat of the play--the woman's cousin realizing that she loves her frenemy and vice versa. The rest of the characters and the plot points only serve to give B & B a platform on which to prove their disdain is only skin-deep.
It's a fun and light party atmosphere full of silliness and innuendo-heavy jests until a rather vicious volley of slander rips through an otherwise innocent marriage scene. And it's all catalyzed by a character who seems to only have been inserted to serve as the Mentos in the bottle of Coke. What makes it worse is that we began with such feminist hope in Beatrice with her superior intelligence, independence, and agency ("Just, if he send me no husband; for the which blessing I am at him upon my knees every morning and evening") only to get halfway through to witness a young "noble" man unquestionably believe a self-professed villian's setup to make a young maid appear to be unchaste and then proceed to vociferously slut-shame her in front of the whole town to the point that she faints. It's a mess. And we started with so much hope for female empowerment, damnit.
In fair Messina where we lay our scene, the governor, Leonato, has a house full of women and a messenger informs him that a throng of handsome, victorious soldiers, led by Don Pedro, are on their way to visit him. There is some talk about County Claudio, a young and virtuous man who distinguished himself during battle. The unparalleled Beatrice, Leonato's niece, inquires about the soldier Benedick, and wastes no time mocking him. She asks who is unfortunate enough to be Benedick's current bosom buddy and it is Claudio himself.
Don Pedro arrives with his entourage, along with his troublemaking bastard half-brother, Don John. Leonato invites them all to stay at his place and introduces his only daughter, Hero, to Don Pedro, who then announces that they will stay a whole month. Benedick and Beatrice launch into a quick fencing match of wit, and Benedick forfeits, as he always does.
Claudio, so suddenly taken by Hero's beauty, tells Benedick he wishes to woo her. Benedick scoffs, as is his wont, since he is famously a ladies' man and a bachelor. Claudio tells Don Pedro of his intentions, and they both mock Benedick for his insistence on bachelorhood. Don Pedro agrees that during the party that night, he will pretend to be Claudio under his mask and woo Hero for him, and then he will put in a good word with Leonato.
Antonio, Leonato's brother, mishears this plan and lets him know that Don Pedro intends to woo Hero. Excited, he goes to tell Hero so she can have an answer for him at the ready.
Don John meanwhile sulks around he house, hoping for some mischief to fall in his lap. Borachio comes and tells Don John that Don Pedro and Claudio were plotting to woo Hero and Don John jumps on the opportunity to fuck things up.
Before the party starts, Leonato, Antonio, Hero and Beatrice chat about their manly guests. Beatrice cannot help but rail on Benedick some more, insisting she will never marry by expressing the age-old truism about how annoying beards can be to women:
He that hath a
beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no
beard is less than a man: and he that is more than
a youth is not for me, and he that is less than a
man, I am not for him.
Hero is reminded to say yes whenever Don Pedro asks for her hand, since he's an awesome catch indeed.
The masked men enter and Don Pedro, in his disguise, grabs Hero immediately so he can work his magic. Everyone else goofs around, trying to guess who is whom behind their masks. Beatrice and Benedick chat, talking about each other, and it's clear that she knows exactly who is behind Benedick's mask even as he doesn't realize that she knows. Don John, seeing his moment to screw with Claudio, goes to him, pretending that he's talking to Benedick, and says some shit about Don Pedro wanting to steal Hero from him. Claudio is crestfallen for a few minutes, already giving up on Hero without a fight when Benedick tries to chat him up. Then Don Pedro tells Claudio that he has already won Hero for him, and Claudio is thrilled (fucking Claudio). Beatrice expresses her hopes for the couple while at the same time promising she'll never marry.
When Beatrice stalks off, the rest of the group happily conspire to fill the days until the big wedding to trick both Benedick and Beatrice into admitting they love each other.
Don John and Borachio, mad that their first attempt at ruining the whole Claudio/Hero matchup, conspire to trick Claudio and Don Pedro into thinking Hero is a dirty trollop. Borachio tells Don John that he will get Hero's girlfriend Margaret to stand at Hero's balcony, where he will snog her in a way that it appears to be Hero, while Don John brings Don Pedro and Claudio to witness the ersatz-in-flagrante-delicto. Don John loves this plan and promises Borachio a wad of cash if this works.
Benedick wanders around Leonato's orchard and complains about how dumb it is to get married. He talks to himself about what it would take for him to settle down:
I'll take my oath on it, till he have made an oyster
of me, he shall never make me such a fool. One woman
is fair, yet I am well; another is wise, yet I am
well; another virtuous, yet I am well; but till all
graces be in one woman, one woman shall not come in
my grace. Rich she shall be, that's certain; wise,
or I'll none; virtuous, or I'll never cheapen her;
fair, or I'll never look on her; mild, or come not
near me; noble, or not I for an angel; of good
discourse, an excellent musician, and her hair shall
be of what colour it please God.
Just then, he spies Don Pedro, Claudio, and Leonato walking by and he hides. The men, knowing Benedick to be within earshot, speak loudly about how Hero has reported how much Beatrice aches for Benedick. They say that Beatrice has been pulling out her hair with the need to write Benedick a love letter late at night but will not openly admit her true feelings due to the verbal thrashing she is sure to get from Benedick.
Benedick absorbs this readily and is happily surprised at this news. He debates with himself how if he expresses his true feelings toward her, he will get an earful from everyone, but that it is no matter, as Beatrice loves him! Speak of the devil, Beatrice comes to call him to dinner and he acts pleasant and kind to her, which she no doubt finds pretty odd.
Elsewhere in the orchard, Hero tells Margaret to tell Beatrice to eavesdrop on Hero and Ursula chatting. Beatrice hides and listens as Hero and Ursula expound upon Benedick's love for Beatrice and how it is such a shame that she is a sourpuss about love. As soon as they believe their ruse is effective, they leave, and Beatrice emerges, awestruck at this news, with a promise that she will be happy "taming my wild heart to thy [Benedick's] loving hand."
Claudio and Don Pedro give Benedick shit for falling in love and shaving his beard. Benedick weakly chafes at the upbraiding but then takes Leonato aside, most likely to humbly ask him for Beatrice's hand. Don John comes and whispers that he has some knowledge that may blast Claudio's marriage plans and asks them to follow him to the proof of Hero's unfaithfulness.
The captains of the watch, the haphazardly clever Dogberry and Verges, whip their watchmen into shape for the evening. When the watchmen are left to do their duty, they overheard Borachio and his buddy speak of the treachery he conducted on Don John's behalf. The watchmen arrest them both.
The next day, Hero is getting dressed up for her wedding while Margaret teases her with salty innuendoes. Beatrice joins them and Margaret pokes fun at her for obviously being in love. They are called by Ursula, who says the wedding is about to start.
Dogberry catches Leonato for a moment despite Leonato's urgency to attend the wedding. Dogberry explains in as many strange turns of phrase that he has discovered some knaves and wishes to interrogate them in front of Leonato. Leonato says Dogberry should do it himself and report back to him later.
Friar Francis asks the two lovebirds if they know of any reason why they should not marry. Claudio, taking the bait, immediately breaks out into a tirade of scorn and rash accusations against Hero for being a lying whore, to everyone's horror. Claudio, Don Pedro, and Don John all swear they witnessed Hero's disloyalty the night before, and Hero, of course, denies it, with Beatrice defending her. Hero faints at the severity of their venomous slander and the accusers stalk off.
Leonato is appalled that his precious daughter would do such a thing, but Benedick and Beatrice and the Friar try to find reason to believe Hero's side of the story. Benedick suspects Don John is somehow the instigator of this whole mishegoss and Lenoato is so dumbstruck that he swears he will punish whomever is responsible. The Friar comes up with a plan: tell everyone that Hero has died of shock and act outwardly with all the funerary and grief rites, that way, when Claudio finds out, if he truly loved her, he will feel guilty, and at least they'll know he wasn't plotting to ruin Hero's good name. Leonato and the Friar spirit Hero away while Benedick and Beatrice stay behind and chat. Benedick admits his love for Beatrice, and she is so shocked that she asks him to prove his love by killing Claudio, which he says he cannot do. They hem and haw and eventually admit their love for each other and Benedick promises to confront fucking Claudio.
At the Messina prison, Dogberry and Verges begin to interrogate Borachio and Conrade. With much verbal stumbling and silliness, Dogberry makes sure their testimonies are recorded, especially the part where he is accused of being an ass. The watchmen tell of what they heard: that Don John paid Borachio one thousand ducats to convince Claudio that Hero was a "common stale" and therefore lead to the crushed wedding. Also, the Sexton informs them that Don John has apparently fled Messina. They decide to take the men to Leonato to inform him of this villainy.
Antonio tries in vain to comfort Leonato. Don Pedro and Claudio waltz in and the older men challenge them to a fight, but the younger men decline and insist that they were correct in their accusations against Hero. Benedick finds them and challenges Claudio. Benedick resigns his position with Don Pedro due to their dishonorable behavior. Claudio tries to dig at Benedick for loving Beatrice but Benedick doesn't bite and leaves. Don Pedro and Claudio wonder why Benedick is so seriously earnest all of a sudden.
Just then, Dogberry arrives with his watchmen to inform them of the treachery of Don John, who has fled. Don Pedro is shamed and Claudio decides he loves Hero again (WTF dude?). Leonato comes back to hear Borachio's testimony. Claudio and Don Pedro then kowtow to Leonato, willing to do anything to right their wrong. Leonato says Claudio must make it known to the people of Messina that he was responsible for Hero's death and how he much wronged her. Oh and he must marry his brother's daughter. Claudio agrees to both requests (because if he doesn't, there is nothing redeemable about him whatsoever). Leonato wishes to question Margaret about her hand in all this, but Borachio insists that she knew nothing and has no responsibility.
Benedick tries to write a poem to Beatrice and asks Margaret to look at it. She taunts him and he expresses his woe at being unable to write poetry. When Beatrice enters, they jest darkly with each other about being in love with each other against their own wills but are morose about the whole Hero/Claudio thing. "Thou and I are too wise to woo peaceably," says Benedick.
Then Ursula bursts in to announce that Don John's involvement with all the lies about Hero have been uncovered and that everything's going to be fine.
At a church, Claudio reads his epitaph for Hero before her tomb, then he and Don Pedro go to prepare for his marriage the next morning.
Friar Francis is back to oversee the latest marriage. Benedick is happy that he won't have to fight his buddy anymore. Beatrice, Hero, and their handmaidens run off to mask themselves. Benedick asks Leonato for Beatrice's hand in marriage while Don Pedro and Claudio arrive. Claudio assures Leonato he will marry whomever Leonato places before him, even if she be "an Ethiope" (Joss Whedon, in his film, inserts an awkward shot of an African American house guest right at this line). SO AWK AF.
Fucking Claudio asks to see the lady's face but Leonato makes a point of Claudio once again confirming that he will marry her before he is allowed to see her. Claudio agrees and Hero unmasks, to his enormous surprise. The Friar says he'll explain everything once the marriage is done. Benedick publicly asks Beatrice to marry him, Hero and Claudio hand them notes that each of them wrote to one another as proof of their love, a messenger brings word that Don John has been captured, and Benedick encourages everyone to dance.
It's not a perfect play, but still, it has its charms. The films are quite good. Branagh's 1993 adaptation surrounds us with the warm, clear-aired Tuscan countryside and delivers an ebullient, if uneven, star-studded rom-com. Branagh and Emma Thompson shine the brightest as our sparring duo, with strange but notable performances of Don John and Dogberry by Keanu Reeves and Michael Keaton. For me at least, Keaton can never be divorced from the image of him as Beetlejuice, and really, he brings too much of that proto-Johnny-Depp weirdness to Dogberry. Ken's repertory favs Richard Briers and Brian Blessed are reliably perfect as Leonato and his brother Antonio. Denzel Washington brings the necessary charm and nobility to Don Pedro while a very young Robert Sean Leonard and an almost-child-like Kate Beckinsale are Claudio and Hero.
When Joss Whedon came out with his undercover side project version in 2012, I remember going to see it in a little theatre in Manhattan with a friend who has never been interested in Shakespeare, but she's always been good at indulging me my Bardolotry. She seemed to enjoy it well enough, even though at the time, I wasn't actually that impressed. What was most interesting about the film to me is how it was produced. Joss filmed it in twelve days at his own home with a bunch of his good friends and made them all swear to secrecy about it. He got some peeps to make a few lush indie band covers of the two songs in the play--which are quite good--and did the whole thing in black and white. At the time, it smacked of cinematic arthouse bait, which it was, and it unfolded like some rich filmmaker's overblown house party in Santa Monica with actor besties drunkenly reciting Shakespeare scenes into the night, which it was. Upon a second viewing recently, I find it less annoying. Beatrice and Benedick are passable, but the best thing was casting Nathan Fillion (of course, Mal Reynolds, though!) as Dogberry. And I liked the under-appreciated Clark Gregg as Leonato, who was pitch-perfect. I still can't get the "Sigh No More" song out of my head.
Next up: We dive into Shakespeare's Roman history obsession period with the nonpareil Julius Caesar and I more deeply undertsnad just how much I actually enjoy the Roman stuff. Speaking of which, I have a date with National Theatre Live at Home June 4th at 7:00 pm with their one-week free stream of Coriolanus (one of my favs!) starring Tom Hiddleston. Super psyched!
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