I will never forget my first exposure to the story of Titus Andronicus. I was in college at UF and visiting my dear friend Alan at his apartment. He was a giant classics/mythology/Latin nerd and a thespian on top of it, so of course he was a fan of theatre director Julie Taymor. She had done some other Shakespearean adaptations on stage at this point (The Tempest, Taming of the Shrew, as well as Titus Andronicus), and Titus (1999) was her feature film debut. We popped in his coveted DVD and spent half the afternoon being thoroughly disturbed and entertained by the unique and iconoclastic film. I think we decompressed afterwards by ogling hot dudes on SeanCody.
Due to the exuberant gore and revenge of this play, scholars have argued in the past about whether Shakespeare wrote such a bloody piece of Senecan filth, mostly because old dudes don’t want to admit that their favorite playwright is capable of low-brow entertainment. But the consensus is that our dearest William did, in fact, pen this (IMHO) extraordinary play, perhaps as an exorcism of tropes that were so popular at the time. Our boy may have written Titus with such riotous excesses on purpose, thus stoking the Elizabethan audience’s blood lust more than Marlowe’s ultra popular Tamburlaine the Great or The Jew of Malta, just to take the piss out of his rival. And it fucking worked.
The main source material for Titus is Seneca’s two-dimensional revenge play Thyestes, and a story from Book 6 of Ovid’s Metamorphoses. Both of these works contain children being slaughtered like animals and surreptitiously fed to their parent for some wrongdoing on the parents' part. Those Romans really lean hard into their vendetta plots, tell you what. When Atreus, brother of Thyestes, goes to sacrifice his nephews, the sky and the ocean literally go berzerk for the evil he’s about to perform. I mean, Thyestes did bed Atreus’ wife and tried to claim the throne, but he comes to Atreus with nothing but regrets and kisses his feet. Atreus pretends to forgive him and serves up roasted sons nevertheless, gloating about it until the end of the play.
Ovid’s tale of Philomela is even meatier. It’s every Harvey Weinstein victims’ nightmare/dream. The drop-dead gorgeous Philomela is raped by her sister Procne’s husband, Tereus, who then slices out her tongue to prevent her telling anybody. He also locks her up in the woods and lies to Procne about her death. A year later, Philomela has woven a tapestry depicting her story and has it secretly sent it to her sister, who finds her horribly mutilated and vows to punish her husband in the most grisly way possible: she tearfully kills her own son, cooks him up, and serves him to his father. After the meal, Tereus asks after his son, and an exultant Philomela jumps out to shove his son’s head in his face. Tereus chases after the two women, but all three are transformed into birds. Because sure why not?
You would think that after reading these two giddily gruesome yarns about frightful feasts a first-time reader/viewer would be fully prepared for anything Titus could conjure.
They’d be wrong.
(Disclaimer: I will not ask forgiveness for this possibly turning into a Titus fangirl masterpost.)
Titus Andronicus begins with the endless one-scene Act I during which the first two out of fifteen deaths (sixteen if you count the fly in Act III) occur in short order. The Emperor is dead, and his two sons, Saturninus and Bassianus, argue over who will take the throne (as princes do). Saturninus believes he deserves it just because he’s the eldest and Bassianus wants an election. Marcus Andronicus, brother of Titus, struts in and says the people have chosen Titus because he’s an uber general and he’s awesome. Saturninus and Bassianus say “Well, we’ll let the Senate decide!” Meanwhile, Titus arrives with a coffin, somewhat proudly announcing that twenty-one of his twenty-five sons have died in battle. As he leads the coffin to the son-filled tomb, the fabulous Tamora, Queen of the Goths (Titus’ prisoner) follows behind with her three sons and her moor companion/lover, Aaron.
One of Titus’ surviving sons, Lucius, proposes that Tamora’s eldest son, Alarbus, be executed for causing his dad so much loss. Tamora pleads with a mother’s heart but they drag Alarbus off and chop him into pieces anyway. Lavinia, Titus’ daughter, arrives, and Titus blesses her. Marcus announces that the Senate has decided Titus could rule. Titus, old and weary of battle, just wants to retire to Florida. Saturninus whines about the people loving Titus more than himself. Titus says that for the sake of peace, he will choose the next Emperor. Bassianus tries to bribe him into choosing himself, but Titus chooses Saturninus just because he is eldest and that is just the way things are. Triumphant Saturninus immediately promises to marry Lavinia as a reward, and Titus agrees, but as soon as Saturninus glances at Tamora, he instantly changes his little brain and wants to marry her.
Bassianus then runs off with Lavinia, because apparently they’re secretly engaged. Marcus and Titus’ son Mutius try to prevent Titus from going after Bassianus, so Titus slays Mutius because Titus is a real stickler for tradition and honor and obeying your dad no matter what. He promises Saturninus that he will get Lavinia back but the new Emperor just waves it off because he’s too busy wooing Tamora. Saturninus makes a show of chiding his brother for stealing Lavinia, but in the last two minutes they already got married so it’s a moot point. Tamora whispers to her new husband to just let all this shit go--they’ll get their revenge later. Saturninus pardons everyone. Titus, totally satisfied, invites everyone to go hunting the next day.
That was all in one goddamn scene. So many entries and exeunts and people just standing there with no lines for long periods (poor Aaron).
Act II commences, and Aaron finally speaks, outwardly pondering the new political situation and how it affects his power behind the throne. Chiron and Demetrius, Tamora’s remaining sons, tumble in, having a hissy fit about who is going to steal Lavinia from Bassianus. Aaron suggests they just rape her in the woods. They love the idea.
Titus and his family are out hunting in the forest, awaiting the arrival of the Emperor and his new bride. They finally show up and make a joke about how they’re late because they’ve been banging all night. Lavinia sneers at them.
Elsewhere in the forest, Aaron buries some gold and talks about an evil plot just as Tamora slinks in, jonesing for a sly tryst. Aaron pushes her away, saying he’s prepping to murder Bassianus. Lavinia and Bassianus see them together and call Tamora a moor-loving whore. Chiron and Demetrius come over and Tamora complains about how Bassianus has insulted her, so her sons stab him and toss him into a pit. Lavinia pleads with Tamora to kill her now that her love is dead, but to leave her chaste. Tamora tosses Lavinia to her lusty sons and they drag her off to have their way with her.
Aaron brings Titus’ sons, Quintus and Martius, to the pit, and Martius falls in, then finds the bloodied body of Bassianus. As Quintus tries to help Martius out of the pit, he falls in as well. Saturninus shows up and appears shocked at his brother’s death. Tamora produces a fake letter about the plot to kill Bassianus and Saturninus concludes that Titus’ sons are the murderers. Titus pleads for a fair trial even though Saturninus insists they be immediately executed.
Lavinia, viciously mocked and then abandoned by her rapists, has neither tongue nor hands, so she cannot tell her story by voice or cleverly sewn tapestry. Marcus finds her and laments her condition, saying that even Philomela had it better.
Titus begs heartily for his sons’ lives, pointing out that he never shed tears over the deaths of the rest of his brood because they died honorably. Lucius enters, sword drawn, informing his old dad that he’s been banished for trying to liberate his bros. Marcus brings Lavinia to them, horrifying both of them. Titus reads his daughter’s dumbshow of emotions and aches over their misfortune. Aaron comes in and declares that Saturninus will pardon Titus’ sons if one of the remaining Andronici chops off their hand and deliver it to the Emperor. Titus, Lucius, and Marcus all volunteer at once, but Titus tricks his brother and son, and as they walk off stage to find an axe, Titus asks Aaron to do the deed and take his hand. Aaron laughs to himself about the dirty lie he told. The family mourns for a bit, but then a messenger arrives with the two heads of Quintus and Martius and Titus’s spurned hand.
Jarringly, Titus just starts laughing:
TITUS ANDRONICUS
Ha, ha, ha!
MARCUS ANDRONICUS
Why dost thou laugh? it fits not with this hour.
TITUS ANDRONICUS
Why, I have not another tear to shed:
Besides, this sorrow is an enemy,
And would usurp upon my watery eyes
And make them blind with tributary tears:
Then which way shall I find Revenge's cave?
For these two heads do seem to speak to me,
And threat me I shall never come to bliss
Till all these mischiefs be return'd again
Even in their throats that have committed them.
Come, let me see what task I have to do.
You heavy people, circle me about,
That I may turn me to each one of you,
And swear unto my soul to right your wrongs.
The vow is made. Come, brother, take a head;
And in this hand the other I will bear.
Lavinia, thou shalt be employ'd: these arms!
Bear thou my hand, sweet wench, between thy teeth.
As for thee, boy, go get thee from my sight;
Thou art an exile, and thou must not stay:
Hie to the Goths, and raise an army there:
And, if you love me, as I think you do,
Let's kiss and part, for we have much to do.
That line, “Bear thou my hand, sweet wench, between thy teeth,” is just the craziest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. If that’s not a piss-take on the level of dark humour favored by William’s audience, I don’t know what is.
Up until this point, Titus has been nothing if not full of the integrity he so prides in himself. He’s spent his entire life serving the Roman Empire, and he’s been a good boy, acting on every command without question, even to the point of slaying his own son in Act I (whom he saw as defying the Emperor, how dare he!). But in this scene, he’s sorrowfully listed the wrongs life has dealt him in the last few days and he’s 100% DONE. Probably the most ambitious aspect of the 1999 film is Julie Taymor's and Anthony Hopkins' insistence in discovering the center of Titus' notoriously opaque soul throughout the play. We are never privy to soliloquies or revealing asides from the old man, but the film tries its best to portray Titus as a deeply tragic general who is ultimately betrayed by his countrymen. It is to Hopkins' credit that he squeezes a few heart-wrenching moments out of what little The Bard gives him.
To calm down a bit, the somber Andronici gather around the dinner table for a nice family meal. Titus only has an appetite for bitching about how he and his daughter have only one hand between them. Titus appears to best understand Lavinia’s attempts at expressing herself and Lucius’ son young Lucius suggests maybe toning down the griping. Just then, Marcus stabs at a dinner plate and Titus is just like “WTF Marcus?!” His bro explains that he was merely trying to kill a fly. Titus berates him, asking him to think of the poor fly’s parents and how they’d feel. Marcus blinks, then says “But it was a black fly, like Aaron.” Titus says “O, O, O, OK,” and joins in on the stabbing. Then he gets up, telling Lavinia to sit with him as he reads some sad stories and asks Lucius to continue reading for him when his eyes start to blur.
This fucking family. If this were a reality show, they’d be killing the Kardashians in ratings. And just plain killing them.
The next day (or week or month… who knows?), Lavinia is chasing her nephew young Lucius around in Titus’ garden and scaring the bejesus out of him. Marcus and Titus recognize that she’s trying to communicate something in the process of leafing through the books Lucius dropped. She opens to the story of Philomel (Ah-ha!) because, duh, it parallels her situation and they finally understand what happened to her. Marcus has a lightbulb moment and shows Lavinia how she can use a long staff held between her teeth and her arm stumps to scratch words into the sand. She writes the names of Tamora’s sons and everyone vows to seek revenge.
Chiron and Demetrius get Titus’ message that young Lucius brings to them: some of his best weapons with threatening verses written on them. But the boys are so dumb that they don’t realize it’s a threat, and Aaron has to point it out in an aside. Then trumpets sound when the new Empress gives birth. A Nurse enters, holding a “blackamoor child” she was bidden to give to Aaron to kill. The boys are offended.
DEMETRIUS
Villain, what hast thou done?
AARON
That which thou canst not undo.
CHIRON
Thou hast undone our mother.
AARON
Villain, I have done thy mother.
HA.
Aaron has no intention of killing his son, and protects him from Chiron and Demetrius. He asks who knows about the kid and the Nurse says only she, Tamora, and the midwife know. Aaron kills the Nurse and plans the death of the midwife, then tells the brothers to sneak a white baby into the palace, then runs off to raise his child to be a warrior amongst the Goths.
Titus brings his squad to Rome and hands out arrows with messages attached to them to shoot into the sky as messages to the Gods. Marcus rolls his eyes a bit and whispers for them to shoot them into the Emperor’s courtyard instead. Titus presses a Clown to bring a message to the Emperor.
Saturninus whinges about all the arrows in his yard and says Titus is nuts. Tamora is secretly pleased at how insane she has made Titus. The Clown enters and gives Saturninus a message and is quickly hanged for doing so. He proclaims that Titus must be sent for, but a messenger comes and says Lucius and an army of angry Goths are on their way to whoop some imperial ass. The Emperor cries because the people of Rome love Lucius more than him and he’s worried that there will be a rebellion. Tamora calms her husband down and says she will parley with the Goths at Titus’ house so she can convince Lucius to quit it.
Meanwhile, Lucius tweets some propaganda that Rome is on the Goths' side and the people welcome the invasion. A Goth finds Aaron and his child and brings him to Lucius. Lucius orders him to be kliled immediately but Aaron insists that if Lucius doesn't kill his son, he will tell him some juicy gossip. He blabs that his child's mother is Tamora and generally boasts that he wishes he could live longer to commit more horrible crimes. Lucius says that hanging is too good for Aaron and decides to wait so he can imagine a more suitably terrible death for the moor.
Tamora and her sons cosplay as Revenge, Rape, and Murder and hang around outside Titus' window, harassing him until he comes out. He acts like he is mad and believes their ruse, pretending that he thinks it odd that Revenge looks an awful lot like the Empress of Rome. In this guise, Tamora tries to convince Titus to call off the invasion. He sends his bro to arrange a feast with Lucius and the Emperor to make peace. Tamora is about to take her leave when Titus suggests that Rape and Murder stick around his house and she stupidly agrees. As soon as she is out of sight, Titus orders Demetrius and Chiron to be tied up so he can slit their throats while Lavinia catches their blood in a bowl. He tells them his plan to bake their body parts into pies for the feast.
Lucius' army is waiting in ambush while Titus has the Emperor's court over for dinner. Titus enters, dressed as a chef, and humbly encourages Saturninus and Tamora to enjoy the lovely meal he has personally prepared for them. As they tuck in, Titus asks the Emperor if it is proper to kill a daughter who has been shamed, the Emperor says "Why of course!" and Titus promptly kills Lavinia right in front of their salad.
Saturninus is shocked, SHOCKED that murder is going on here and asks why he did this to his own daughter. Titus says "because Tamora's sons raped her and cut out her tongue and hands, dumbass, THAT'S WHY!" Saturninus wonders where the boys are and Titus announces that they are in the meat pies his wife is currently digesting. Titus stabs Tamora, Saturninus stabs Titus, and Lucius stabs Saturninus.
Marcus calms everybody down (miraculously) and proceeds to recount all the wrongs the now slain Emperor, Empress, and lusty sons have done. Marcus says he will die for Rome if they do not agree, but then Lucius is proclaimed the new Emperor. Marcus is cool with this, and he hauls in Aaron for punishment: to be buried up to his chest so he starves to death. Saturninus is allowed to be buried with his family, Titus and Lavinia in the family vault, and Tamora tossed to the wilds beasts and birds of dissembling nature.
All of the Bard's Roman plays contain a slew of body parts, metaphorical and otherwise. Rome is often figuratively carved up into arms, stomachs, ears, and especially heads, always presenting the Empire's commonwealth as a torso with limbs that tend to have minds of their own, dependent upon the whims of the populace (or the mob). Titus just happens to involve a lot of dismemberment, which is what the people want, right?
The death count is as follows, in order of appearance: Alarbus, Mutius, Bassianus, Martius, Quintus, a Nurse, the midwife Cornelia, the Fly, a Clown, Demetrius, Chiron, Lavinia, Tamora, Titus, Saturninus, Aaron. Yes, yes, I counted the FLY because once you get locked into a serious death count, the tendency is to push it as far as you can.
Titus, Titus, Titus. You will always be one of my guilty pleasures. Like watching Tremors and eating pizza and beer.
Next week, a very problematic play for all the feminists inside us. Ugh.
Comments